Remembering and Forgetting

This post was written a week ago.... I just had a hard time uploading the photo's so it took a little while to get it up :)

This was the living room the night before the movers came......

It was so nice to have movers.......

There she blows...... Our container

One last squeeze from Grandma.....

So this is our last week in pictures. I realized that my past week has been a series of remembering and forgetting all of the excitement and joy that I felt when I (we) made the choice to sell all (most) of our posessions and set out on the adventure of moving all the way to the other side of the world.

I forgot the feeling of rightness when I was organizing my house at midnight so the movers could come. I remembered when they came and the day went so smoothly. I forgot when all my kids came down with strep the only month we weren't covered by insurance in the states. I remembered why I was making the choice when my dear friends from the nursery school we attended for 5 years threw us a party and reminded me of all the reasons why I was going. I forgot when we had to say goodbye to our dear dear Richmond Grandparents who have been our rock these last 8 years since we embarked on parenthood. At so many different points I have thought, "what in the HELL am I doing? Did I really CHOOSE this?"

Alice broke her tibial growth plate on Sat. night and that is the point in which I really forgot. I called Martin and told him what had happened and he replyed that, "he was coming home." WHAT? We sold the home! There was no home!

I was thinking about all of the events of the past few weeks and I realized it had been a lot of remembering why I had made the choices that I have and mostly forgetting why I had made the choices that I have. I realized that this is a lot like our lives. We make choices and then we set out on that path. We choose careers, we choose life partners, we choose places to live, where to go to school, who to be friends with or not, we choose to stay close to family members or not, we choose how to use our money, choices regarding family building...... So many life choices to be made. We pray about them, think about them for a long time or just make a quick decision. We usually go with what makes our hearts sing.

I try to make the best choices I can. I don't take overly long to think through things and I ususally think that I have made the best choice possible. And then life happens I forget. All is not bliss in marriage, kids get sick, jobs suck, things are hard. Sometimes really hard. But I have realized over the last couple of days that the hard is just white noise to distract. Noise that is sometimes so loud you can't hear anything over it. You can't hear your inner voice reminding you of why you chose your partner, your job, to have kids etc.

I am going to try and do a better job of remembering everyday exactly how I felt when Martin and I made the choice to move to Singapore. Remind myself how excited I feel and have felt. Remind myself of all the excited sentiments that people spoke to me. Remind myself of all the good that I have to take with me to our new home. Remind myself so when more hard comes our way (28hr plane ride for starters) I will remember that I felt good...... So good about this choice.

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