Warning: There is talk of attempted sex in this post.
So about two weeks ago I hit a HUGE wall.... I realized that I was SO over Asia. The wall began coming up the day that Martin was getting to leave for a business trip. We had been working our fingers to the bone between work, school, church and general up keep of our lives. We had been preparing all day for a small window when we would be alone after the kids went to bed and before his flight left at midnight..... We had become that couple who essentially has to schedule SEX. We are laying in bed having a wonderful conversation..... right when we are ready to move past talking outside we hear a Chinese parade coming down the street... The first time I saw one... I thought oh cool... second... wow that is neat.... third... uh huh.... fourth... why must it be so loud?.... fifth..... is that pots and pans they are banging.... sixth... oh my hell does this bug anyone else?... etc. etc. Only down hill. Needless to say this was about the 10th in a few months. I have yet to find out why they do them. But this particular night the parade started at right outside our window. The were setting up to begin and so they sat outside our window and "practiced" singing (like a chicken) and banging on pots and pans. We are on the 26th floor so you would think that the sound would not be so bad. Not so my friends... it is only magnified. SO LOUD. Needless to say I was so annoyed that the night ended in a failed attempt and Martin running out the door for a 10 day business trip cursing the Chinese parade.
Things I found charming have now become a cultural barrier. I have had the desire to understand but now... just feel over it.
Also during the last few months we have had to make a decision about school for the girls. I spent countless days agonizing over the decision and finally made the choice to continue to home school both..... only to have Martin decide he wanted to send them to school. So... after much deliberation we enrolled Greta, bought her uniforms, and committed ourselves to sending her to "local" school Jan. 3. I am beside myself with anxiety over it. I decided that I can always pull her out an continue to do what we have been doing. Alice has not gotten into the local school yet and so we are still waiting to hear. In the meantime, I am enrolling her in an online school to take the pressure off of me. Overall homeschooling has felt like a really good thing that required me to sacrifice my soul :) I have LOVED having so much time with my kids. BUT it has been extremely hard on me and my personal space etc. I am looking forward to trying school for Greta and still crossing my fingers that Alice gets in. I secretly won't mind if I have to keep homeschooling Alice :)
All of the cultural differences and school drama brought me to a place where I was just done. I just wanted to walk into a grocery store and find all my familiar foods, I wanted the chicken man to happily cut up my chicken and take the head and feet away with out question, I wanted the taxi man to stop pretending that he couldn't understand what I was saying because I was pronouncing my neighborhood wrong, I wanted to get in my minivan and drive to Costco and fill up my van with copious amounts of things I don't need, I wanted to have Thanksgiving with my family, I wanted it to be cold, I wanted to switch out my clothes for winter ones, I wanted to NOT have to be in my bathing suit the day after Thanksgiving, I wanted my kids to go to Ray Rays, I wanted Grandma and Grandpa Vaughan to come down for the weekend, I wanted to not be stared at when I walked through the market, I just WANTED the familiar. Over the exotic.
I posted these feelings on facebook to have another expat friend point out that the "honeymoon" was over! Normal she said. I agree....
So what does any sane person do when they are miserable?? Look for a way out. I choose a way out that I SWORE I would never do. I hired a full time maid. And folks... can I say I LOVE Singapore again! She has taken the pressure off... I feel so much happier. I know some of you are rolling your eyes... but in my defense... Singapore just has some very hard aspects to it. It is really hard not to have a car, it is hard to have to market at a million different places, it has been hard to never get a break from my kids, and many other aspects of city living with a family.
So Mary Poppins.. I mean Jenny from Mindanao Philippines has come to live with us..... and I may not be over this after all.....
